I take back anything bad I've ever said about Texas. I'm staying here forever.

One word...barbecue. I'm still afraid of Texas, and I somehow drove for 10 hours and only got from Amarillo to Canton (a little east of Dallas) via Oklahoma City (oops?), but there was a big payoff.

BBQ!



Soooo good. This whole town smells like delicious smoked goodies. My kinda town. Couldn't find anywhere to camp again, so had to stay in a motel. I'm glad about that, because it's over 100 degrees outside at night. Damn.

Wait! Check out this sweet Oklahoma stunt!



Our Progess:



(Taylor's input) Tim apparently forgot to mention three very groundbreaking moments that occurred in the beautiful state of Oklahoma.

1) The creation of Snaggle Tooth Paper Plate (STPP)



2) STPP learns how to use a mobile telephone.



3) STPP eats potato chips. (photo not available)

Is it getting hotter?

Arizona bled into New Mexico with nothing new to notice except maybe a a twinge of tan burning through my 75 SPF sunscreen. We drove forever and ever through the desert. I'm pretty sure the only noticeable thing of the day was when I drove off from a NM gas station with my gas cap on my roof and then watched it get run over by a truck directly after it fell into the highway. I had to stop and by a new one. I want my $7.99 back.

How 'bout this gem? The New Mexico sign with a Schneider next to it! Just in case you were wondering who claimed this fella, that would be me. I called it a good 5 miles before we got to it. The flat terrain of the desert makes the Schneider game very competitive.



Ok...on to the scary town business. After crossing the Texas border, we realized that camping wasn't in our immediate future. There were no campgrounds anywhere, it was pitch black, and I'm afraid of Texans. So we pulled off the exit in a town called Vega. It was weird right from the start. The off-ramp spits you out on a two-lane road, so you are actually exiting into oncoming traffic. (I would later come to realize this is normal in Texas.) Every building was shuttered, there was a Texas Chainsaw Massacre style car graveyard, and even though there were two motels with flickering "Vacancy" signs, there were no signs of life anywhere. We didn't get abducted by any locals, if there are any, but it took a degree of ingenuity to figure out how to get on the on-ramp as well. Weird introduction to Texas.

We ended up sleeping in a crack motel in Amarillo, the "yellow rose of Texas." Pretty dingy joint, but we got to take a shower, so that wasn't so bad.

Consult the map:

Unwanted Adopt-A-Highways, Ghost Towns, and Red Rocks

When you sleep at a truck stop, as it turns out, you'll be kept up all night by diesel engines idling and air brakes squealing. I only got a few hours of sleep, and was up before sunrise.

The upside: The Mojave sunrise:



Taylor slept for 200 miles, in 100 degree heat, in a moving van. Heavy sleeper, I'd say. She woke up just before the Arizona border, more than likely because it was 16 million degrees.

Hey look! Arizona!



We drove down into Sedona, which is a cool little town with lots of pretty scenery. The downtown region is a first-rate tourist trap. Luckily, we look like dirtbags so we don't get hassled too much by the opportunist tour guides and such. We found a cool little campground, and pitched our tent for the first time. Here's "I can do it by myself" Taylor realizing she needs some help. Unhappy Camper.



For reference's sake, here's the proverbial "Happy Camper."



We made a fire, went for a walk, drank some beers, and made friends with some dogs. Good times in the desert.

Schneider Note: Not a good scene for Taylor. Some would say my lead is insurmountable. There is still a lot of road between here and Rhode Island, though.

Gettin' there:

Day 2: Drive forever; wine with lunch; Saw the ocean, the desert, and a truck with hydraulics

The Pacific Coast Highway is radical. The downside is that it is super hilly and windy and takes forever. Totally worth it, though.

We turned down Rte. 58 and into some nice wine country. We stopped at a winery, bought a bottle, and ate lunch. Beats work any day.



We took a really long, weird route, and ended up sleeping in the back of the van at a truck stop in the middle of the Mojave Desert. Kramer Junction to be exact.

Map:

Day 1 - Tim takes commanding lead in Schneider game; Taylor comes to conclusion Redwood trees are big

Schneider game? Yes indeed. The Schneider game is something that my father invented on family trips to Indiana when I was a kid, if I remember correctly. Schneider is a nationwide trucking company, and their trucks are a very recognizable bright orange. When you see one, say "Schneider." That's it. As far as I know, such a long-distance game of Schneider has never been attempted. Day 1 was bad, bad, bad for Taylor.



We made it to California, I can prove it:



We did some mega stunts in front of Redwood trees. Taylor got some bangers in there, too, but my photographic timing needs fine tuning.



Redwood trees are awesome. You should go. They look like this:



We made it to Weott, Calif., in the Humboldt National Redwood Forest. About 450 miles, a good chunk of it being on super windy two-lane roads. Campground was OK. We slept in the back of the van and listed to "Duma Key," by Stephen King on CD. Good times.

Indiana Jones style route map:

The world according to two irresponsible twenty-somethings, and another guy

So, after a lot of talking, a good deal of planning, and a lot of "Good lucks!" later, the S.S. Boxer is ready to set sail on the asphalt seas of the Good Ol' US of A. Here's a brief recap for those not in the know:

Participants:

Timbro, Esq - Captain and owner of exactly one (1) 1998 Dodge Caravan, champagne in color, henceforth referred to as the Starship Boxer. Named after Orwellian character for appropriate reasons. Referred to as a "total dude" on at least one (1) occasion.

Taylor St. Clair - Trusted Co-Pilot of vehicle. Self-professed karate expert and lover of cats. Total babe, by all accounts. Former child basketball star. Once killed a giant spider with mind power.

Tom K.(European leg of trip only) - Very large head.

Objective:
To see the world for all it's worth. To camp in a Wal-Mart parking lot. To leave our mark on foreign destinations as much as they leave their mark on us. To keep track of aforementioned travels via this blog, with no regard for proper spelling.

Itinerary (rough):
Drive from Portland, OR to Harrisville, RI via the long, long southern route (via SoCal, Southwest, Southeast, Eastern Seaboard.) Fly to Dublin (via Boston.) Visit UK, Greece, Italy, Croatia, Czech Republic, Germany, Denmark, et al. Fly to NYC (via Dusseldorf, or Dumbledorf as Ms. St. Clair believes). Drive back to Portland via long, long northern route (via Wisconsin, Montana, Idaho, etc)

Goals:
Hang out. See places. Meet people. Drive on the wrong side of the road. Play golf in Scotland. Play naked in Greece. Live Life. Don't Die.


What you will read here is the chronicles of three people trying to squeeze as much out of every opportunity as possible. Always take the long way home.

-TB